everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
