I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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