i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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