Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
