I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Shame - the story of my life.
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