Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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