Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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