And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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