Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize