vagina is talking i cant
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
