I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
