Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
