I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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