Having a random hookup so left but love u
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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