Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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