**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
