So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
