just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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