I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
