Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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