After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
