ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
