Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
