I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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