Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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