she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
