So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
