I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
3 2 1 whiskey
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
