Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
