how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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