kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
