yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
