the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize