I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
