Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
