he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
