Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
