I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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