We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and she was petting her beer can
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize