My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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