Non-Jews are for practice
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
