when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
