He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize