He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
