I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
