First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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