Do you still have your period?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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