just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
