You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
