i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
