She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
