All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize