I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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