Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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