so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
