I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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