K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize