And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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