umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
