who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
