i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
